The First Quarter Is Over.

With the first four weeks of the NFL season over, we can get a clear idea of which teams are at the top of the class and which ones really need to go to the UFL. You know, that one league with the four teams? The league where Vick really should have gone to jumpstart his football career instead of playing back up to McNabb AND Kevin Kolb.

A tiny sidebar. Let's get real here. The Wild[Dog] offense isn't gonna work in Philly. Although Vick may be the perfect player to do this, Andy Reid isn't the perfect coach to make the plays for it. Offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg isn't gonna do much either. In case you forgot, he coached the Lions. His record as Lions' head coach: 5-27. 'Nuff said.

Alright, so back to the top. Here are what Tha Sports Corna Top 5 looks like:

Picture Courtesy of ESPN.com

5. Minnesota Vikings

Brett Farve just won't leave. He showed everyone on that he can still perform, even on the big stage. And for people saying that they're sick and tired of Farve. That's BS. We all know it. As much as we hate to admit it, we damn love the drama this guy brings. The Brett Farve Show is the male version of Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives, and the entire Oxygen network combined. The Packers/Vikings game was ESPN's most watched broadcast. We can't get enough Farve. It's true. It's true. And the Vikings defense was out for blood. They damn near killed Rodgers. Jared Allen was...well...I have no words to describe his play on Monday Night. All I can say about him is that he just took the title of best defensive lineman away from Dwight Freeney.

Courtesy of MVN.com

4. Indianapolis Colts

The elder Manning brother had doubters heading into the season, saying that he was in the decline. Not true. His ability to manage the game has allowed him stay at the top of his game. No one can argue against Manning being one of the smartest players on the field. He reads an offense like he's reading The Cat in the Hat. Their defense is their achilles heel. The Colts proved that they could win a Super Bowl with offense rather than defense but this is ridiculous. Their defense is something you'd expect from the Chiefs. If they want to add a 2nd ring to their collection, they have to tighten their play up.

Courtesy of ESPN.com

3. New Orleans Saints

We all knew that the Saints were going to be a great team. Not many though, thought that they would be undefeated going into Week 5. New Orleans have the best offense in the NFL, although Brees hasn't been in top form in the last two games. In the past two games, he hasn't thrown a touchdown. Since Pierre Thomas has returned, the running game has been revitalized, a breath of fresh air. The only question mark is the defense. They have been allowing way too many passing yards. The run defense has been solid though.

Courtesy of ESPN.com

2. New York Giants

The only reason the Giants are ranked higher than the Saints is because of their defense. They have been allowing about 100 yards less passing. Look at the two offenses, and statistically they are mirror images. The game between the two teams next week will easily The Game of the Week, if not the season, despite Eli's injury. That's where it all lies right now. Manning. Looking at the injury reports, there is little Eli can do but to suck up the pain. It's an injury that's easily going to affect him for the rest of the season. Facing the Raiders this Sunday, they can afford to give him a bit of rest. It's the Raiders.

Courtesy of ESPN.com

1. Denver Broncos

That's not a typo. The Denver Broncos. A team that was a laughing stock last year. A team that fired Mike Shanahan. The Mike Shanahan that worked with one of the best quarterbacks the world will ever see. And then, replaced the future hall of famer with a rookie 33-year old coach. And not only that, but they ended up trading their "quarterback of the future" for Kyle Orton. Everyone thought that they were going to repeat their 6-10 performance at the best. We all were wrong. The Orange Crush is back! 4 games and they only allowed 26 points. Orton has yet to throw a pick, and everyone is forgetting Shanahan's name. Despite not playing top-nouch competition (Cincy, Believeland, The corpse of Al Davis, and America's Joke), the record speaks for itself. Denver has been playing great all-around.

If gonna rank the top 5 teams, might as well rank the bottom 5 teams.

T-32. Kansas City, Oakland Raiders, Cleveland Browns, St. Louis, Carolina Panthers

Yeah, The Lions aren't in the bottom 5. They have a glimpse of promise, which is not saying much.

Back to these "teams". I only need two words to analyze them. Just two words.

THEY SUCK.

Alright, just a bit more detail.

It hurts to watch these "teams". Do I need to bring up the Panthers vs. Cowboys Monday Night game? Don't make me. I don't want to relive that. It pains me to even think about thinking about it. These teams have no hope. They are what I call the anti-Obama.

(Disclaimer: This is not a reference to George W. Bush and his administration, a presidency that was believed by some to be the worst ever. It is a reference to President Obama's hope. These teams have none, hence anti-Obama.)

I will honestly be surprised if these teams combined reach 10 wins. Until the culture changes, the suckiness is here to stay.